Welcome back, folks for the second installment of The OfficeQuoteability. Tonight’s episode was cool. Lots of details thrown in the mix, like Ryan in his role as the boss, Kelly faking a pregnancy (complete with an awesome shake of the head!) to get back together with him, and I almost lost my mind when Creed came walking in the door with his hair dyed black. Again, tonight’s episode was extremely Michael-centric and we also got our first presentation from Michael of the season – recycling the pictures of Ben Kingsley and the Big picture. Classic. But on with the quotes. If I’ve left any out, feel free to contribute your own in the comments.
-
We had a foreign exchange student live with us when I was young. And we called him my brother and that’s what I thought he was. Uuhm, then he went home to what is now formerly Yugoslavia taking all of my blue jeans with him and I had to spend the entire winter in shorts. That is what Ryan is like. A fake brother who steals your jeans. – Michael Scott
-
It’s not a surprise to me. Pam is the office mattress. - Angela
-
Hey bro. I’ve been meaning to ask you – can we get some Red Bull for these things? Sometimes a guy’s gotta ride the bull, am I right? Later, skater. – Creed
- He has a killer job. He’s rich. He smells like what I think Pierce Brosnan probably smells like. He wears really cool rich guy clothes. So sorry Tuna, but if you don’t know why that’s awesome, then you need awesome lessons. – Andy Bernard
-
There’s been a lot of talk about new ideas today. Well new ideas are fine, but they are also illegal. – Michael Scott
-
It’s a feral barn cat, and I’m giving it to you for the one I destroyed. And his name is garbage. Mose calls him garbage because he likes to eat garbage…Garbage can be very helpful, he’s a useful cat. He killed an entire family of raccoons.” -Dwight K. Schrute
-
Sorry, I didn’t see you guys were in here…Well, I couldn’t see your hands. Pam, By the way, I’m glad that you’re dating, but when a new client calls you just have to randomly assign them to a salesperson, you can’t base who gets new clients on who you’re sleeping with that week. – Phyllis Vance (Vance Refrigeration)
-
Yeah, Ryan snapped at me, but there was this twinkle in his eye that I picked up on that said, “Dude, we’re friends. I’m doing this for appearances I am the big boss now and I have to seem like an ogre, but you know me and you trust me and we like each other and we’ll always be friends and I would never take you for granted in a million years and I miss you, man and I love you…His words.” – Michael Scott
-
I’ll make a reservation. No, no, I’ll cook for you: cauliflower and noodles, with a baked potato on the side. – Dwight K. Schrute
-
Many cultures revere old people because of their story telling ability, like the old lady from Titanic, or the funny things they can do like “Where’s the Beef?” -Michael Scott
Honorable Mention:
-
In the end life and business are about human connections and computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. And to me the choice is easy. -Michael Scott
-
Is this about me and Jan in my office? Because I will have you know that that was consensual and what we did has nothing to do with you or anyone here I don’t think anyone heard anything. What we did was very discreet and most people had left by that point. -Michael Scott
-
He’s back and he’s with a beard. He has facial hair. Look at him. All grown up and no place to go. Hello, Sonny Crockett. This is Tubbs. -Michael Scott
-
You know what? Love the beard. Keep it forever. -Jan Levinson
-
Let the bells of Dunder Mifflin chime out your love. This is good. This is really good. My heart soars with the eagle’s nest. – Michael Scott
-
“WHERE ARE THE TURTLES?!?! WHERE ARE THEY?!?” -Michael Scott
-
What have we learned? We’ve learned that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Because it’s illegal. – Michael Scott
-
Ryan thinks technology is the answer. Well, I just drove my car into a lake. I drove my car into a F___ing lake. Why, you may ask, did I do this? Well, because of a machine. A machine told me to drive my car into a lake. -Michael Scott
-
Why don’t we go as teams to demonstrate our teamsmanship? -Michael Scott
