MARTHA!!

 Not much more I can say here, other than I wish that whole bicycle picture wasn’t in there.  I heart you, you Yankee Michigan Wolverine who kills Professionals on a regular basis…Call ME!

So apparently, the fearless fisherman was the one who called the cops on Mary.  I don’t mean to downplay the situation, because clearly any time an enraged 45 year-old woman with a cranky uterus is swinging at you, it’s pretty bad.  But Byron is a pretty stout (albeit close to elderly) guy.  He could have just gone into the house to clean up and let her cool off.  What was the wisdom in calling the cops?  She was still sitting in the stinkin’ car, he didn’t want to press charges, and the only thing that could possibly happen would be that I, and many other (much more popular) bloggers like me, would sit here and report it, laugh about it, etc.

 Rookie mistake, there Byron.  You thought you were too old and out of date that we would not care anymore.  The truth is, WE DON’T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO.  Well, we do, I mean, we have jobs.  We just don’t have much we would rather do than to do a “Did you hear about this…” post and laugh at a guy who retires to his condo to call the cops on his fiancee of 17 years.  Seriously, even Roy and Pam weren’t engaged this long.  You should have just cleaned yourself up, let Mary sober up, and then guilt trip her into cleaning all of the fish you catch for years to come.  No two ways about it, you blew this one, buddy.

I guess after the final rose had some sort of open bar we didn’t hear about.  Either way, one of the two “happy couples” don’t seem so happy anymore, do they?  I guess this solves the mystery we have been wondering about.  Byron has been held hostage all these years by Mary…Every time you think it couldn’t get crazier, you end up hearing something you couldn’t possibly even make up.  Just wow!